Music - The Winding Room

The Current

3:58

The Current marks a quiet but important shift in how I think about life.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1The water never hurriesStill it always finds the shoreEvery gust already knowsSomething I haven’t heard beforeI wait until the silenceStarts leaning into songTill the space between the heartbeatsFeels like somewhere I belongPre-ChorusEvery moment has a rhythmEvery current has a keyI don’t have to lead the musicJust let it answer meChorusCome with meWe don’t have to make a soundFind the heartbeat underneathLet it turn us inside outEvery wave receives the windAnd returns it as its ownFind your placeAdd your voiceLet the moment sing through youVerse 2Every step becomes a questionEvery answer changes tooEvery laugh is caught by windAnd carried somewhere newNothing asks for certaintyNothing asks me who I’ve beenOnly whether I can hearWhat’s already pulling inPre-ChorusEvery moment has a rhythmEvery current has a keyI don’t have to lead the musicJust let it answer meBridgeHear the rhythmFind your ownLay it gentlyInto the songLeave no shadowLeave no nameOnly breathingJust the sameChorusCome with meWe don’t have to make a soundFind the heartbeat underneathLet it turn us inside outEvery wave receives the windAnd returns it as its ownFind your placeAdd your voiceLet the moment sing through youOutroUntil your songBecomes it too

It’s Not That I Don’t Want To

3:22

It’s Not That I Don’t Want To brings together two pieces of music that originally belonged to very different periods of my life.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroI don’t know if it’ll work out this timeFor the first time in my life I feel utterly emptyVerse 1It’s not that I don’t know the answersThey’re perfectly clearIt’s not that I don’t know the next stepIt seems so obviousPre-ChorusParalyzed in my own skinUnable to take a breathOr don’t I want to?Am I betraying myself?ChorusNo, it’s not that I don’t want toAnd it’s not that I don’t see the lightBut the force to get me goingSeems utterly out of sightNo, it’s not that I don’t want toAnd it’s not that I don’t see the lightBut the forces that get me goingFeel so out of sightVerse 2Sometimes I wish you’d do it for meShake me loose and make me moveBut I’m afraid I’d be dependentDependent on someone who doesn’t understandAnd how are you supposed to love meLove me without understanding?It feels like nobody could know itTill you see it in someone elsePre-ChorusInert in my own fearCaught in my own darkOr did I choose this?It seems it’s always aroundChorusIt’s not that I don’t want toAnd it’s not that I don’t see the lightBut the force to get me goingFeels utterly out of sightAnd it’s not that I don’t want to - noIt’s not that I don’t see the lightBut the forces to get me goingFeel so out of sightOut of sightOutroI feel brokenYet I know who I amBetter than ever beforeAin’t this a tragedy

Rage (There’s a Storm Under This Skin)

4:15

A Song about my very special relationship with rage, namely not accepting it. But that’s the thing about rage: it doesn’t care.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1Something red at the edge of the roomSomething turning the air too tightA wire hum under the floorboardsA mouthful of unlit lightThe walls lean in without movingThe glass remembers its breakAnd every quiet thing in the bodyStarts to tremble awakePre-ChorusI know this currentI know its nameIt comes without speakingAnd asks me to changeChorusThere’s a storm under this skinTurning slow, pulling thinI let it rise, I let it bendBut I don’t let it take me inVerse 2The hour goes black at the edgesThe pulse draws circles in dustA field of sparks with no landingA hand closing over rustAnd somewhere under the weatherUnder the wanting to breakSomething keeps striking the silenceLike a match that won’t stayPre-ChorusI know this currentI know its weightIt speaks in the languageOf too much, too lateChorusThere’s a storm under this skinTurning slow, pulling thinI let it rise, I let it bendBut I don’t let it take me inBridgeNot every fire wants ruinNot every wave wants the shoreSome things just circle the darkTill they are asked for no moreSo I stay near the centerWhere the noise loses shapeAnd the thing that was trying to split meFalls back into heatFinal ChorusThere’s a storm under this skinTurning slow, pulling thinI let it rise, I let it bendAnd still come back through it againThere’s a storm under this skinOld as breath, close as sinIt may beginIt may beginBut I begin againOutroI know this weatherI know this flameIt comes without warningAnd leaves without a name

Unfurl

4:24

Unfurl began as a song about trying to align yourself with what you actually want: listening beneath habit, fear, and expectation until something more truthful becomes visible. But the song only found its real perspective when I stopped telling that story from the human side.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

ChorusUnfurl me into matterLet the hidden pattern showMake a world to move insideMake a mirror out of stoneVerse 1Before the mouthThere was hungerA chord before the tremblingA name before soundBefore the eyeThere was distanceA shape before edgesLeaning toward groundPre-ChorusToo whole to remainToo curious to stayA rift made of wantingA glimmer in the darkThe pull as distanceThe distance as desireTransmuted intoA gate in the unknownChorusUnfurl me into matterLet the hidden pattern growMake a world to move insideMake a mirror out of stoneVerse 2A bright uneaseTearing from withinA storm of fragmentsToo wide to controlScattering piecesDistorting the wholePulled into motionNo meaning, just changeBridgeA cry for completionPure beneath despairCarved into noiseAnd noise breaks into formAn echo in matterToo loud to ignoreReflecting the patternWhile carrying the stormFinal ChorusUnfurled into matterAnd the hidden pattern showsIn the world it moved insideIn the mirror made of stoneOutroNot wholeBut heldThe anchor settlesA dream is born

Shuffled Soul

4:11

I originally wrote Shuffled Soul while studying in Salzburg, during a time when relationships, intimacy, and many of the emotions connected to them still felt completely new to me. I was collecting experiences faster than I could understand them. Everything seemed important, everything triggered another thought or feeling, and none of it arrived in a clean or manageable order.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroInformationOverloadI am losing controlAnd there's noExplanationVerse 1Screens like windows into nothingOpen all at onceHeadlines, numbers, little warningsBeating like a drumMy mind keeps stacking noise on noiseUntil it starts to ringAnd I can't tell if I'm aliveOr just bufferingChorusInformationOverloadI am losing controlSoul is shiftedTowards you, my dearAnd there's just no wayWay out of this miseryVerse 2I scroll for something I can nameA reason, or a cureBut every answer multipliesAnd nothing feels secureI talk in fragments, half a thoughtI swallow what I meanAnd every signal folds into youAnd everything else drops out of viewPost-ChorusAnd there's noExplanationFor these feelingsFor my feelingsBreakdownI keep thinkingIf I find the right wordsIt will stopBut it doesn't stopBridgeMaybe it's chemicalMaybe it's fateMaybe it's nothingBut it cuts the sameMaybe I'm hungry for a signIn a world that won't explainMaybe I'm just a human beingTrying not to drown in my own brainPost-ChorusAnd there's noExplanationFor these feelingsFor my feelingsOutroInformationOverloadI am losing controlSoul is shiftedTowards you, my dearAnd there's just no wayWay out of this misery

Velvet Knife

4:51

Velvet Knife started as an instrumental for a fashion campaign for a local designer. The collection was very much about the seductive and dangerous elements of nature.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1I hold the light where you can see itGold and velvet, open stillThere is fragrance in the silenceThere is sweetness in the thrillYou come nearer for the shimmerFor the promise, for the bloomI don't ask you to surrenderI just open up the roomPre-ChorusCome softlyCome awareNot every giftIs free or fairChorusBeauty has a hidden hungerBeauty wears a careful faceYou can touch itYou can taste itJust don't vanish in its graceEvery nectar has a shadowEvery flower knows the knifeTake the wonderKeep your balanceLove the dangerLove your lifeVerse 2Some are fed by being neededSome by trust and some by needSome by color, some by perfumeSome by how the bright things bleedI was made to draw you inwardYou were made to pryThere is no lie in the attractionOnly wisdom in goodbyePre-ChorusCome closerIf you chooseSome things enchantAnd still consumeChorusBeauty has a hidden hungerBeauty wears a careful faceYou can touch itYou can taste itJust don't lose yourself in graceEvery nectar has a shadowEvery flower knows the knifeTake the wonderKeep your balanceLove the dangerLove your lifeBridgeLet the choir pull you underLet the glitter catch your eyeJust remember what draws you inCan be sharp when you lean byFinal ChorusBeauty has a hidden hungerBeauty wears a careful faceTake the sweetnessTake the warningLet them move in the same placeEvery nectar has a shadowEvery flower knows the knifeTake the wonderKeep your balanceLove the dangerLove your life

Footsteps

4:49

Footsteps is a song I wrote for the part of me that believes I have to do everything myself for it to count. I often carry this idea that if I use what already exists, if I follow a path someone else has helped create, then somehow the result is less mine. Footsteps pushes back against that. It reminds me that I don't have to reinvent the wheel every time. People before me have already walked, fought, loved, failed, built, and carried things I could never have carried alone - and there is strength in recognizing that.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1You linger in the quiet workingsThat live beneath the way things fallIn the shape of how things settleI don't question anymoreNot a face and not a momentJust a presence I can't placeLike a pattern in the structureI never fail to traceChorusIn your footsteps I am movingEven when I walk aloneEvery road I take is alteredBy the ground we used to knowNot as someone I rememberNot as something I hold on toJust the traces of my movementAs the world unfolds withinVerse 2Different rooms and different seasonsDifferent ways we learned to staySome were loud and some just fadedSome I slowly walked awayBut they left their quiet outlinesIn the way I speak and chooseEvery leaving drew a contourI could never loseChorusIn your footsteps I am movingEven when I walk aloneEvery road I take is alteredBy the ground we used to knowNot as someone I rememberNot as something I hold on toJust the traces of my movementAs the world unfolds withinBridgeI don't stand where I once stoodI don't see the same horizonEvery step I took beside youShifted where my heart would lieEvery ending left a distanceEvery closeness changed my paceNow I move along the linesThat were drawn by youBreakdownI am not the sameAs the ones beforeYet something of them stayedIn how I changeFinal ChorusIn your footsteps I am movingIn the quiet that remainsEvery path I take is coloredBy the warmth and by the painNot as someone I rememberNot as something I hold on toJust the traces of my movementAs the world unfolds withinOutroIn the tracesIn the groundIn the pathsThat led me outI don't go backI move aheadBecause you already carryWhat I could never hold

Hush

4:33

Hush began as a much simpler mantra-song about trust: the quiet reminder that I know what else moves in the dark, and that I have lived through difficult places before. The original idea was almost reassuring - a way of telling myself that even when things feel strange, heavy, or frightening, I am still moving through them well enough.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1Shapes that don't move, don't stareThey will follow if you dareFog that waits for you to seeThen it stands where you might beWhere the dark folds in on twoSomething almost looks like youNot a face and not a formJust the place where shapes are bornBridge 1Hush now, hush, don't give it sightDon't turn edges into lightDon't let thinking make it stayIt will learn you if you playChorusYou know what else moves in the darkYou move through it well enoughWell enoughVerse 2Like a drawing made of fearRubbed away but still too nearLine by line it comes to holdSomething never meant to foldFeel it humming, low and slowBefore the ears can let it knowIn the ribs and in the breathSomething counting under deathPre-ChorusThere's a rule you never learnedFrom a place before the turnChorusYou know what else moves in the darkYou move through it well enoughWell enoughBridge 2If you follow, it will growIf you see, it starts to knowQuiet now, don't make a soundSomething breathing undergroundChorusYou know what else moves in the darkYou move through it well enoughWell enoughOutroHush now, hush, don't give it sightDon't turn edges into lightDon't let thinking make it stayIt will know you if you play

Moment of Peace

5:10

I wrote this song after my first long-term relationship ended. It was interesting looking back at my younger self and taking a more detached perspective on this very emotional time of my life.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroI took a detour on the motorwayThe streets were shimmering with rainLights reflected on the wet cementCars passing by in hazeVerse 1I leave the thinking to the radio’Cause every thought feels wrongThe city breathing through the wavering glassWhile I lose sense of timePre-ChorusYet I can still my mind no moreI can’t put it to sleepSome things aren’t ready to be put to restNo way to leave them on their ownChorus’Cause I will always remember thisAnd I will always stay true to my heartAnd I would gladly give up my feelingsJust for a moment, a moment of peaceVerse 2We had built our lives in borrowed roomsWe had learned each other’s waysAnd we filled the spaces differentlyBut still we shared our daysI was the one who gave us upI was the one who made the callBut knowing doesn’t make it lightWhy does it feel like I took the fallAnd still I miss it allFinal Chorus’Cause I will always remember thisAnd I will always stay true to my heartAnd I would gladly give up my feelingsJust for a moment, a moment of peaceA moment of peace

Longing II

4:30

This track lives in a space that has always been there, a quiet pull toward something just out of reach. Not a person, not a place, not even a clear idea. Just the sense that meaning is close, almost tangible, and then gone again the moment you try to name it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1There’s a pull I can’t nameIn the quiet betweenLike a word half-rememberedFrom a place I’ve not seenEvery road feels borrowedEvery step feels lightLike I’m walking through somethingThat won’t hold me insidePre-ChorusAnd I keep turning overWhat I almost understandLike a shape in the distanceThat dissolves in my handsChorusI am reaching for somethingThat is not in viewLike a space I rememberBut I never knewThere’s a silence that calls meFrom the edge of the roomAnd I follow it slowlyLike I’m learning to moveI am reaching for somethingThat won’t take a nameLike a place I keep passingBut never remainThere’s a quiet that opensWhen I loosen my holdAnd it pulls me toward somethingI can’t turn into homeVerse 2In the drift of the eveningIn the fall of the airThere’s a sense I am closerWhen there’s nothing thereNot a face, not a momentNot a voice I recallJust the weight of a presenceThat is not there at allBridgeMaybe I was never meantTo arrive anywhereMaybe meaning is onlyHow I breathe in the airAnd the more that I search itThe more it dissolvesLike I’m part of the questionI’m trying to solveChorusI am reaching for somethingThat is already goneLike a note still resoundingAfter music moves onThere’s a silence that holds meWhen I stop asking whyAnd I feel almost anchoredAs it passes me byI am reaching for somethingThat I don’t need to findLike a space that surrounds meWhen I step out of mindThere’s a quiet belongingIn the lack of a placeAnd I move toward the absenceLike I’m finding my place

Longing Repetition

4:52

This song was written at a point where everything had quietly fallen apart, but nothing outwardly dramatic had happened. There was no clear crisis, just the gradual loss of direction, identity, and trust in my own decisions.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1On the inside I am emptyOn the outside I'm hardI never learned how to deal with loveI don't know how to come apartVerse 2It's not wise to pick directionWithout a point of referenceI wish someone would take the leadBut I'm scared of losing myselfWhatever that meansPre-ChorusDo you want it?I don't know what to do with itDo you want it?I don't know what to doChorusOn this ride through life I feel abandonedIn this game called life I feel aloneOn this ride through life I feel abandonedIn this game called life I am aloneAloneVerse 3Decisions they don't make senseWhen your confidence is fracturedWould someone please guide me through this maze?Still I'm scared of losing my wayBecoming someone newVerse 4Lost in doubt and confusionIt's hard to see the lightFeeling my way back to solid groundBut I don't know how to make that leapI'm not yet foundPre-ChorusDo you want it?I don't know what to do with itDo you want it?I don't know what to doChorusOn this ride through life I feel abandonedIn this game called life I feel aloneOn this ride through life I feel abandonedAnd in this game called life I am alone

The Wonderer

3:28

This track is meant as the introduction track of the album. It came about when I was working through all my old songs, all my lyrics, and thinking about what the main lesson - the main realization - had been through all of it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroThere was a man who walked through seasonsWith something on his mindIn every face, in every momentA meaning he could findVerse 1But everything he reached forWould change along the wayThe more he tried to keep itThe more it slipped awayVerse 2Until he faced a silent formThat did not turn or takeThat did not shape the momentInto something it could makePre-ChorusAnd in that kind of stillnessSomething fell awayChorusAnd the only thing he learnedBefore he moved alongWas to see what’s there before himWithout needing to belongOutroAnd the only thing he learnedBefore he moved alongWas to see what’s there before himWithout needing to belong

Out of Time

3:54

This song comes from a place where I kept trying to understand what was happening, while something else was being asked of me. When emotions got stronger, I would step back and try to make sense of them - slow things down, find clarity, put things into words.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1You ask me why I’m quiet nowStanding in the kitchen lightYour voice still reaching for meMine already somewhere elseI say I don’t knowYou say I pull awayBut I’ve been drifting slowlyFor longer than I can sayPre-ChorusIt didn’t break between usIt just stopped holding tightChorusWe never lean togetherAt the same timeYou reach when I am closingI speak when you go quietWe keep trying to find itBut something won’t alignAnd somewhere in the silenceWe are falling out of timeVerse 2You get louder when it mattersI go softer, disappearSomething in me folding inWhen it all gets too clearI turn it over slowlyEvery word, every toneTrying to understand itWhile losing hold of my ownPre-ChorusWe are both still reachingJust missing every timeChorusWe never lean togetherAt the same timeYou reach when I am closingI speak when you go quietWe keep trying to find itBut something won’t alignAnd somewhere in the silenceWe are falling out of timeBridgeI stop saying what I feelThe way I see it landI keep my truth inside meInstead of reaching out againYou say I’m growing distantI think you feel it tooWe’re standing in the same placeBut seeing something different throughFinal ChorusWe never leaned togetherAt the same timeYou held on in your wayWhile I let go of mineWe were both still in itJust not in the same lightAnd somewhere in the silenceWe both stopped trying to fightOutroAnd I still understand youMore than I let onIt didn’t break between usIt just stopped holding tight

A Place I Still Go

3:54

This song grew out of a memory - an echo of a relationship. Something that I still feel intensely and that I cherish deeply. It has a home in me. Something I nurture. It carries a feeling of joy and absolute freedom, and a deep sense of gratitude towards a person who may never know how much they moved me - simply by being who they are, and by seeing me as I am. It’s a moment that may not have existed exactly as I remember it. But I choose to hold on to it. A place I can return to whenever I need to remember that feeling. There is a certain nostalgia in this feeling that has to do with the fact that often I only realize the value of something after it is gone. I think this is something a lot of people can relate to.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1I remember looking upSun behind your faceYou were laughingLike the world had lost its weightAir was heavyLike the end of summer daysSomething goldenAlready starting to fadePre-ChorusNo before and no afterJust that space we were inAnd a breeze moving softlyThrough the hair on my skinChorusAnd I keep it somewhereI can still goThat careless kind of lightI still knowLike a late summer dayHolding on to the heatWhile the air turns softerUnderneathJust your laughAnd the sky going wideAnd a quiet knowingPassing byVerse 2I don’t know if it was realOr something I made upBut it lives in meLike it never quite let goThere’s a quiet placeI don’t let life touchWhere it stays just like thatAnd it’s always enoughPre-ChorusAnd you never knew itWhat you gave without tryingHow your lightness stayed with meStill as warm as that dayBridgeThere’s a room in meI don’t open wideWhere the light still fallsLike it did that timeI don’t change a thingI don’t ask it whyEven knowingIt was passing byI just let it stayAs it was back thenHalf in the sunlightHalf in the endFinal ChorusAnd I go there sometimesWhen the weight comes backTo that open skyAnd the way you laughedYou are somewhereLiving your lifeBut that one momentStill lives in mineLike a late summer dayI can’t hold on toStill I feel itLike I used toOutroSun in my eyesYou laughing above meAlready leavingAnd still... with me

The Hollow

4:02

The Hollow came from the image of a place underneath fear, language, and restlessness. Not death. Not sleep. Something older and quieter than that. A dark, warm ground you can sink into for a moment when life gets too loud.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1Here in the hollowSoft and lowLeave what is restlessLet it goUnder the quietUnder the skinThere is a warm darkPulling you inChorusLay your weight downLay your fear downNothing is neededHereRest in the darkRest in the deepWhat has been searchingNeed not speakVerse 2Deep in the silenceBreath after breathSomething is holdingAll that is leftNo need for namingNo need to knowOnly the slow earthOnly the glowBridgeFall without fallingSink without soundNothing to carryNothing to holdWhat you have beenLoosens its formInto the hollowInto the wholeChorusLay your weight downLay your fear downNothing is neededHereRest in the darkRest in the deepWhat has been searchingNeed not speakOutroHere in the hollowSoft and lowLeave what is restlessLet it go

I’ll Be Alright

3:53

I’ll Be Alright is one of the lightest and most openly optimistic songs I ever produced and it only makes sense that it was originally written for a BMW commercial many years ago. I recorded an earlier version with a friend, and the intro of this final version still carries that original DNA. The commercial track itself was short, but it already contained the basic feeling: forward motion, sunlight, freedom, and a kind of open-road optimism. There was enough there to build a full song around it later.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1I just want to go, I want to go where all the feeling isI just want to feel, I want to feel the wind on my faceNo map in my hand, no plan to defend, just spaceI just want to go, I want to go and be okayPre-ChorusLet the morning pick the color of my dayLet the traffic lights blink “breathe” and fade awayIf I don’t hold tight, I won’t fall apartMaybe letting go is how you startChorusSo I’ll ride with the day, let it carry meNo guarantees, just sky and possibilityIf I get lost, I’ll find my way in timeIf it gets dark, I’ll learn to love the nightI just want to go, I want to go and know insideI’ll be alrightVerse 2I don’t need a sign, I don’t need a reason carved in stoneJust a moving line, just a rhythm humming in my bonesCoffee on my tongue, sun on my skin, and I’m goneI just want to go, I want to go before it’s latePre-ChorusLet the city blur into a softer soundLet my thoughts stop trying to pin me downEvery turn can be a little graceEvery breath can be a better placeChorusSo I’ll ride with the day, let it carry meNo guarantees, just sky and possibilityIf I get lost, I’ll find my way in timeIf it gets dark, I’ll learn to love the nightI just want to go, I want to go and know insideI’ll be alrightBridgeMaybe freedom’s not a finish lineMaybe it’s a door you leave unlatchedMaybe I don’t have to fix my lifeMaybe I can let the moments matchAnd if my hands are shaking, if my heart runs wildI’ll breathe it in and smile -’Cause I’m here, I’m here right nowChorusSo I’ll ride with the day, let it carry meNo guarantees, just hope and possibilityIf I get lost, I’ll find my way in timeIf it gets dark, I’ll keep a little lightI just want to go, I want to go and know insideI’ll be alrightOutroI just want to go, I want to go where all the feeling isI just want to feel, I want to feel the wind on my faceJust want to go, I want to go, I want to go -And be alright

Hands on the Lock (I Nearly Cried a Tear)

4:29

This song is the sound of me getting trapped inside my own head - so deep in inner monologue that the outside world starts to feel unreal, distant, disconnected. It's not subtle on purpose: the music shifts and surges because that’s what the experience is like - moments of almost-breakthrough followed by a hard recoil into control. and lots of bathing in the drama of it all. The core fear isn’t just sadness; it's the terror of what might happen if I actually let myself face reality, express those innermost feelings - because “feeling is a doorway,” and I don’t trust what’s on the other side. The line “I’m terrified of nothing, ’cause nothing looks like me without the mask” is the brutal center: the emptiness isn’t an abstract void, it's the fear that without my defenses I won’t recognize myself at all. And the tragedy is that the song knows this is deeply human - so many people live this - but in the moment it still feels like I’m the only one, alone within, in the darkness.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroI stepped from the edgeAnd I turned awayVerse 1I walked up to the mirror in the darkLike it might finally tell me what I amI held my breath until my ribs went tightWaiting for something real to break the damThere was a tremor in the quiet airLike truth was leaning in to touch my skinAnd for a second I forgot my name-Then I remembered, and I pulled it inPre-Chorus’Cause feeling is a doorwayAnd I don’t trust what’s on the other sideI keep my hands on the lockEven when I’m dying to step insideChorusI nearly cried a tear,I nearly felt there was no one but me.And I almost dropped my fear.I had almost shed light onto those tears.And I almost felt that I could beLess than meAll aloneWithinVerse 2I built a life out of careful distanceOut of explanations, out of “I’m fine”I learned to name the ache in my chestWithout ever letting it cross the lineI can talk about the void like it’s a bookLike it’s a myth I read and understoodBut when it opens in the middle of my roomMy knees go weak - my body says “don’t”Pre-ChorusI’m terrified of nothing’Cause nothing looks like me without the maskAnd if I let the silence hold meWhat would be left to ask?BreakdownBridgeThere’s a version of meThat doesn’t flinch at the truthThat doesn’t keep scoreThat doesn’t need proofA version that falls into feelingAnd doesn’t call it a crimeBut I stand at the thresholdAnd I run out of timeI hear the world breathingLike a beast in its sleepAnd I want to surrender-But I want to keep meSo I swallow the oceanAnd I smile like I’m braveAnd I bury the momentLike it’s something to saveBreakdownI was this close...This close...To letting go.Final ChorusI nearly cried a tear,I nearly felt there was no one but me.And I almost dropped my fear.I had almost let go of me.OutroA step from the edge...And I turned away.

Stuck

4:05

Stuck is a song about the painful realization that two people can use the same word - love - and mean completely different things by it. It is not really about someone lying, or not trying hard enough. The hurt comes from something more complicated: believing that the other person means what they say, while also feeling that the kind of love being offered does not actually meet you where you are.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1You say you love me still butYou don't know what love isYou say you'll never stop butWhat you mean is don't leave meThings that matter to me the mostThey seem to never even touch youLook at all the things you wantedLike they could ever fill you upChorusYou say you love meAnd I believe that's what you thinkBut I'm afraidYou don't know what love is(You don't know what love is)(You don't know what love is)Verse 2Now there's no point in placing the blameI believe you do all that you canBut somewhere in the way we lovedI stopped feeling seenChorusYou say you love meAnd I believe that's what you thinkBut I'm afraidYou don't know what love is(You don't know what love is)(You don't know what love is)BridgeYou said you loved meI guess I never believed it was trueYou said you'd never leaveNow I'm stuckI'm stuck hereStuck here without youOutro(Stuck here without you)(I'm stuck here)(I'm stuck here)

Deception

4:27

I came across this poem by Christopher Brennan sometime in the late 2000s, and a simple harmony progression formed in my head. The first iteration was a very simple piano piece (that even I could play live) to accompany spoken word. Out of spoken word came melodies; out of melodies, a duet.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

DeceptionVerse 1If questions made us wiser, love would never dareNo eyes would linger, caught and burning thereIf every feeling fit inside a perfect phraseNo lips would lose their way in twilight’s hazePre-ChorusSo let the answers stay unfinishedLet the longing keep its lightSome things aren’t meant for solvingOnly living through the nightChorusSo don’t ask me for the “if” or “why”Hold me closer while the hours flyEven if we never reach the wholeIt’s reason enough to want it, body and soulI love you now - no need to proveI must love because I live, and you move me (you move me)Verse 2If spirits weren’t tied down to skin and boneIf love could breathe unbroken, pure, aloneNo aching chest would lean into the acheNo trembling would become the risk we takePre-ChorusBut we are made of mortal weatherFlesh and dream and borrowed timeAnd ecstasy is chasingWhat can’t ever be entirely mineFinal ChorusSo don’t ask me for the “if” or “why”I love you now until I dieEven if the dream can’t be completeI’ll chase it just to feel its heatI love you now - no need to proveI must love because I liveAnd life in me is what you giveOutroNo “if.” No “why.”Just this-Just now.

Headlights

3:46

When I think about life - my own progress and the way we move forward as a society - it feels like driving on a highway at night. Mile after mile looks the same, and after a while you can even forget you’re moving at all, because all you really see is that narrow cone of headlights. The song is me making peace with that: we don’t get the whole map, we don’t get certainty, we only get what the light allows - and still, the road keeps coming. It's a reminder to trust the darkness without romanticizing it: to stay open to being surprised even when everything feels repetitive, and to keep going without demanding a meaning that “sits in light.” And there’s something strangely tender in it too - like rolling down the window, feeling that cool, clean air rush in, and realizing you can let the mystery pass through you until you’re not fighting it anymore - you’re part of it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

HeadlightsVerseWe don’t have to know where this turns’Cause you only learn the road as the mile returnsKeep your head inside the quietLet the dark unspool its versePre-Chorus’Cause it’s all headlightsJust a narrow lineAnd it feels likeWe’re living by and byChorusSo we drive onRide onWe keep rolling through the nightAnd we won’t stop for a meaningThat refuses to sit in lightWe’ll find what we findWhen it finds usBut ’til thenWe don’t have to know where this turns’Cause you only learn the road as the mile returnsKeep your breath behind the glass nowWatch the night fly by in reverseBridgeThe world turns soft in the nightSo we hold on, not to win - just to stay aliveAnd we make it if we listenTo the living as it isYeahThe world turns soft in the nightSo we hold on, not to win - just to stay aliveAnd we make it if we listenAnd the moon just lets it beChorusSo we drive onRide onWe keep rolling through the nightAnd we won’t stop for a reasonThat keeps moving out of sightWe’ll find what we findWhen it finds usBut ’til thenBreakdownNo map, no mapNot yet, not yetKeep driving, keep drivingDon’t look back, don’t look backOutroWe don’t have to know where this turns’Cause you only learn the road as the mile returnsKeep your heart behind the glass nowWatch the night fly by in reverse

I Only Hold Their Weather

3:30

Sometimes I slip into a mode where I’m less inside the moment and more watching it. I detach without meaning to - quietly - and suddenly every small detail becomes huge: dust in the light, the way people pause before they speak, the shape of silence after a laugh. In that state I don’t judge, I just collect patterns, and my mind starts weaving little stories around them. It can feel like I dissolve into the space itself - like the room becomes the narrator and I’m only listening. This song is written from that place: a room holding what people bring in, what they leave behind, and the weather they carry through it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

I Only Hold Their WeatherVerse 1Dust on the windowShadows that lengthenThen leaveCoats on the chair backNames that I never receiveLaughter like warm windFootsteps that circle and fadeCoffee rings stainingMaps of the choices they’ve madePre-ChorusI don’t keep scoreI don’t keep timeI only keepWhat they forget behindChorusI watch them change their facesTrade their stories in the airSet down burdensOn the armrest of a chairThey come apartThey come togetherLike pages in a book they never read twiceI only hold their weatherAll their summersAll their iceVerse 2Arguments hangingThin as a coat on one nailSilence that thickensSoft as an unopened mailEyes on the ceilingSearching for something unnamedHands on the plasterTouching a past they won’t claimPre-ChorusI don’t take sidesI don’t take vowsI only takeThe echo that this moment allowsChorusI watch them change their voicesShape their futures in a wordBreak in whispersThat they hope are never heardThey fall apartThey fall togetherLike patterns in a rug of borrowed timeI only hold their weatherAll their thunderAll their shine

Matchlight Afternoon

4:15

This song comes from a kind of fascination I’ve had since I was a kid: I could stare at a match burning down and feel like I was watching an entire universe end in miniature. When a fly showed up - too fast to catch - I started wondering what that same match would be to it: like a tree trunk, like a bonfire, maybe even like a whole lifetime collapsing in minutes. I know that’s child-logic, but the impulse behind it never left me - the urge to do these tiny thought experiments, not because they’re “correct,” but because they open a door in my perception. The lyrics are basically that door: shadows on a wall, dust in sunlight, ant trails, a faucet counting time one drop at a time - small things that suddenly feel immense. It's me practicing a way of seeing where the world keeps changing size, and where you can sit still, listen, and let the seconds glow without needing a big answer.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Matchlight AfternoonVerse 1Shadows wanderAcross the kitchen wallSteam from my cupGoes nowhere at allDust in the sunlightTurns and turns againLike quiet little planetsLearning how to spinAnt trails circlingAs if they know the routeTiny old worldsTaking the long way roundChorusLet the match burn downLet the day float byWatch the smoke make sentencesIt never meant to writeEvery second slipsRight between my eyesI just sit and listenWhile the world keeps changing sizeVerse 2Fly in the windowPauses mid-airHanging in a momentLike the air is a stareA drip from the faucetCounts itself in soundOne drop, then anotherAnd time becomes the groundDo they feel hoursTurning into yearsOr only the small sparkBetween there and hereChorusLet the match burn downLet the day float byWatch the smoke make sentencesIt never meant to writeEvery second slipsRight between my eyesI just sit and listenWhile the world keeps changing sizeBridgeClock on the mantleTalking to itself (mm)A patient little heartbeatOn a wooden shelfNumbers fallingSoft as winter dustIf there’s a reasonIt keeps it out of reachJust this matchlight afternoonStretching into eachBreath I didn’t noticeTill it let me goAnd all the tiny secondsStart to glowChorusLet the match burn downLet the day float byWatch the smoke make sentencesIt never meant to writeEvery second slipsRight between my eyesI get lost and foundIn a world that doesn’t mind why

Nervous Systems (Intimate Immediacy)

3:48

This song started as an instrumental called “Intimate Immediacy” and it already had all the elements of this track. I had specifically created an instrument built from metallic sheets creating these high pitched sounds that reminded me of nerve-activation in the body - tantalizing and activating. Low bass slowly moving forward and solo strings playing interwound legato lines. A piano hook plays all through the song creating a hypnotic trance. As an over-thinker it is not always easy for me to stay in the moment and simply enjoy and accept what is - I tend to destroy it before it can spread. This is my celebration of the moments when the connection was so strong that I was so caught up in the moment my mind couldn’t intervene. I’d like to think I’m better off staying in the moment these days. It’s certainly worth it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1Your eyelash tremblesI feel it in my ribsTiny storm under your skinCrashing into mineAir gets heavierThough nobody speaksYour hand almost touchesI feel it underneathChorusWe’re talking in pulsesIn shivers and sparksTwo nervous systemsDrawing maps in the darkNo language between usJust signal and sighI answer your breathingYou answer my spineVerse 2Your shoulder leansMy heartbeat leans into yoursSlowerSofterMatching your waveYou laugh too quietlyMy stomach learns the soundTranslates it straightInto staying this wayChorusWe’re talking in pulsesIn shivers and sparksTwo nervous systemsDrawing maps in the darkNo language between usJust signal and sighI answer your breathingYou answer my spineBridgeBlink onceMy chest opensBlink twiceThe room folds inEvery flutterA signalEvery goosebumpA traceChorusWe’re talking in pulsesIn shivers and sparksTwo nervous systemsDrawing maps in the darkNo language between usJust signal and sighI answer your breathingYou answer my spine

Slow Ignition

4:44

It's a song I wrote as a gentle mantra for myself - a reminder that I don’t have to force productivity; I can let a good day start small and still become real. It begins in that familiar “frozen” comfort - quiet, low energy, wanting to do nothing - because that’s exactly the place I’ve often been in when life felt too much. After burnout, I had to relearn trust in my body and in timing, and the lyric is me practicing that: noticing the first tiny spark without panicking, without whipping myself into action. The chorus is basically my new definition of motivation - warm, slow, and humane - where one small move is enough to let the rest happen naturally. Writing it this way is me speaking to the part of me that gets scared or overwhelmed: you’re not broken, you’re recalibrating, and you can ease back into flow instead of bullying yourself into it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroLazy sunlight on my skinNo rush, no race, I’m good to just existVerse 1Ceiling fan humming like a lullabyCoffee cooling, time just passing byPhone face down, nothing I need to proveI’m in that quiet where you don’t want to moveSocks on the floor, soft mess, soft mindThoughts like clouds taking their sweet timeI tell myself, “Later’s fine”And for a while it isPre-ChorusThen somewhere under the calmA little spark starts to breatheNot a push, not a panicJust a gentle shift in meChorusIt’s a slow ignitionA warm, easy climbLike my body remembersThe rhythm of timeNo forcing, no fightingJust one small moveAnd the rest starts happeningLike it always knewI don’t chase the flowIt finds me when I let goVerse 2I stretch my arms like opening a window wideAir comes in and the world feels brightOne glass of water, sunlight on the floorAnd the day starts leaning my wayPre-ChorusIt’s not motivation like lightningIt’s more like tide on the shoreIt comes back in its own timingAnd I don’t have to beg for moreChorusIt’s a slow ignitionA warm, easy climbLike my body remembersThe rhythm of timeNo forcing, no fightingJust one small moveAnd the rest starts happeningLike it always knewI don’t chase the flowIt finds me when I let goBridgeI used to think I had to pushTo make my mind and body moveBut there's a softer kind of powerThat shows up when you chooseFinal ChorusIt’s a slow ignitionA warm, easy climbLike my body remembersThe rhythm of timeNo forcing, no fightingJust one small moveAnd the rest starts happeningLike it always knewI don’t chase the flowIt finds me when I let goOutroLazy sunlight on my skinNow I’m moving-Easy, steady, in the wind

Unison (Spring Leafs)

3:27

This track started in the early 2000s the moment I heard soft spring rain hitting fresh green leaves in our garden and it did something to me - calming, opening, almost euphoric. I grabbed the cheap mic I had back then and tried to “build” that feeling out of whatever I could find around the house, chasing the tiny taps and textures until they became their own little universe. Sounds are constantly blending and melting, sliding into each other, slowly escalating into this orgasmic sense of wellbeing and release. Lyrically it's a surrender - rain says nothing, and that’s exactly the point; the mind stops demanding explanations and the body just understands. it's about finding the epic inside the overlooked everyday detail, and letting that detail carry you into belonging.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Unison (Spring Leafs)IntroSpring rainOn new leafsVerse 1soft taps in the greenwarm drops, slow timei stop being “me”for a whilePre-Chorusrain says nothingand i get itthe world holds stilland i let itChorusunisonlet me blend inlet me belongto what i’m inunisonno edge, no namejust this soundmoving through my veinsBreakdownI give inAnd it’s enoughOutroSpring rainOn new leafs

Where’s the Fun in Easy

3:21

I wrote this years ago in a much more serious, “tough love” tone - almost like I was trying to shame myself into motion: the others manage too, why can’t you? Looking back, I can see the irony: the same overthinking that wanted the perfect reason, perfect mood, perfect clarity was exactly what kept locking me into freeze mode. So I kept the core message - move, show up again, don’t confuse grit with self-neglect - but I rewrote the attitude around it: lighter, kinder, with a grin at my own tendency to make everything a philosophical courtroom. The refrain is basically me calling myself out for hunting “sense” so hard that I create more confusion for myself (and everyone around me). It's not a complaint song anymore - it's a friendly nudge that says: stop taking yourself so seriously, stop building a cage out of concepts, and take one honest step. Because the moment you move, the fog starts clearing on its own.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Where's The Fun In Easy?Verse 1You know the way just like I doSo drop the pretense nowDo what it is you have to doNo bowing, no “somehow”No perfect mood is coming inNo sign will clear the airYou move, or you stay stuck in it-That’s really all in thereChorusYou always thought it would be easyWell where would be the fun in thisLife’s easy until you get boredAnd when you doSense is what you seekVerse 2But here’s the line you never seeWhen you keep pushing through:Your body isn’t just a toolTo drag your mind intoSo don’t confuse “I’m getting tough”With “I’m ignoring pain”Meaning isn’t built on breaking-It’s built on showing up againChorusYou always thought it would be easyWell where would be the fun in thisLife’s easy until you get boredAnd when you doSense is what you seekBridgeSo pick one honest reasonSmall enough to carryOne step you can stand behindNot punishment - directionNot forcing - just intentionLet it pull you out of doubtChorusYou always thought it would be easyWell where would be the fun in thisLife’s easy until you get boredAnd when you doSense is what you seekOutroSense is what you seekSo move-But don’t leave yourself behind

My Body Knows (In the Way)

4:20

This song started as something very raw - written in a moment where love didn’t feel like it was reaching me, even though the words were there. Back then, everything felt immediate and heavy. Like something fundamental wasn’t lining up, and I couldn’t understand why.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1You say it like a habit, like a line you memorizedLike it’s something you can throw at me when you don’t want to tryI’m standing right in front of you, my whole chest open wideAnd you look straight through me like I’m asking for too muchLike I’m asking for your bloodPre-ChorusI don’t need perfect, I don’t need prettyI need you to mean it when you’re with meBut every time you say the wordsIt feels like you’re somewhere elseChorusIn the wayThat you tell meThat you love meLies no truthIn the wayThat I feel itIt falls shortevery timeVerse 2You think love is staying, you think love is “I don’t leave”But you can be right beside me and still not be with meBut I’m not asking for a promise, I’m not asking to feel “fine”I’m asking you to be with me - without leaving all the time:To let me in, to let me closePre-ChorusYou hand me silence, call it “peace”You call it “fine” when I’m on my kneesAnd I’m so tired of translatingWhat should be spoken plainChorusIn the wayThat you tell meThat you love meLies no truthIn the wayThat I feel itIt falls shortevery timeBridgeMaybe you mean it in your languageMaybe you think this is enoughBut I’m not built for empty sentencesI can’t survive on borrowed loveDon’t tell me “always” like a warningDon’t tell me “forever” like a shieldIf you can’t hold me when I’m breakingIf you can’t feel what I can feelBreakdownSay it again-Look at me when you doSay it again-And watch me not believe youFinal ChorusIn the wayThat you tell meThat you love meLies no truthIn the wayThat you hold meLike you’re nowhereI fall throughOutroWe’re in the same roomBut you’re not here

Accelerate

3:30

Accelerate started with a simple refrain: “accelerate, speed it up, bring it back to me.” From there it kept slipping sideways in a way I loved. Tuba, music-box, and small brass gestures keep nudging the song off the obvious path, but it never loses its lightness.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Accelerate (Bring it back to me)Verse 1I tossed a spark into the weatherJust to see what it would doIt hit the air, it hit the ceilingThen it split itself in twoA little left, a little sidewaysA little faster than it shouldAnd suddenly the day was movingLike I always hoped it wouldChorusAcceleratespeed it upBring it back to meAccelerate andBring it back to meVerse 2I wound the morning like a music boxAnd let it skip a toothThe bells came out in funny anglesBut they still rang trueI dropped a word into the currentWatched it wobble, watched it spinIt came back laughing through the windowWith a brass band folded inChorusAccelerateSpeed it upBring it back to meAccelerate andBring it back to meBridgeNot for keepsNot for proofJust to feel the circuit moveSend it wideSet it freeBring back more than I could seeFinal ChorusAccelerateSpeed it upBring it back to meAccelerate andBring it back to meOutroA little leftA little strangeLet it travelLet it change

Calm (Broken Air)

3:54

*Calm (Broken Air)* has always been a refuge for me. Even though the track carries tension - sirens in the distance, broken air, a heavy pulse moving underneath - it never feels threatening.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1Sirens in the distanceTea steam on my thumbWindow breathing slowlyHeart louder than the drumsChorusI am quiet inside the stormBreathing in the broken airAll the thunder can be bornI am quietI am thereVerse 2Thoughts fall like loose papersFloor full of small warsI follow one soft inhaleLike a trail back to a doorChorusI am quiet inside the stormBreathing in the broken airAll the thunder can be bornI am quietI am thereBridgeNothing fixedNothing solvedJust this pulseJust dissolvedChorusI am quiet inside the stormBreathing in the broken airAll the thunder can be bornI am quietI am here

Die (When the Shape Gives Way)

4:29

Die is built around a contrast that feels central to being alive: the beauty of form, order, and living tension, and the inevitability that all of it will one day loosen, break, and return to something else. The track doesn’t treat death as punishment or tragedy alone, but as an inseparable counterpart to life - the force that makes everything tender, temporary, and luminous in the first place. Musically, it begins with a simple piano figure and sweeping strings, then gradually builds into something more expansive and cinematic. Even where the structure grows fuller, there is always that sorrowful undercurrent: a sense that beauty is most moving precisely because it cannot stay. Distortion constantly eats away on the beauty without dimming its light. The result feels like a sung poem about impermanence - not judging, not explaining, simply tracing the strange, painful, and deeply beautiful fact that everything living is already on its way toward change.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1There is a bloom in every breakingA tender weight inside the boneThe pulse keeps time through every seasonAs if the body were its ownAnd light lies down on skin like weatherSoft as dust on window glassFor one brief hour all things are livingAs if they ever thought to lastChorusAnd the shape gives wayAnd the light runs throughWhat was held so softlyCannot stay as trueVerse 2The branch is green until it isn’tThe mouth is warm until it stillsA sweetness gathers in the structureThen slips away through finer seamsStill beauty rises in the ruinStill sorrow glows in what must leaveAs if the world keeps making musicOut of everything it grievesBridgeNot lost-just loosened from its centerNot gone-just changed beyond our claimWhat leaned so hard toward form and orderReturns as shimmer, dust, and flameChorusAnd the shape gives wayAnd the light runs throughWhat was held so softlyCannot stay as trueOutroAnd still the pulseAnd still the swellAnd still the beautyLearning how to fail

Fear in My Bones

4:01

This song came out of a familiar state for me: knowing I need to move, but feeling held back by hesitation, overthinking, and the need to understand everything before taking the next step. What makes it different is that it isn’t written from the heat of that frustration, but from a later place - more as an observation than an outcry. The lyrics look at that inner standstill with a certain calm: fear is there, doubt is there, the mind keeps pulling backwards, but none of it is dramatized more than necessary. Musically, the track mirrors that ambivalence really well: it has a steady, almost monotonous electro pulse, but the synths are warm and rounded, and the arpeggios keep reaching upward, as if the song is already quietly moving toward a solution while describing the problem. So even though it starts in uncertainty, it doesn’t stay there - the real core of the song is in that final shift: not knowing, and beginning anyway.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1On the edge ofpeace once more IRealize againThere is no knowingwhere this will lead meI’m full of doubt againPre-ChorusFear in my bones,it won’t allow for free fallingMy hesitations,they break my speedand I forsakeChorusJust pick a direction and goHow do I know?Just make up your mind and flowVerse 2I want to trust the little momentsMore than my controlI want to stoprehearsing endingsBefore the truth unfoldsPre-ChorusFear in my bones,keeps on asking for reasonsMy mind pulls back,but life won’t pause for my brakesChorusJust pick a direction and goHow do I know?Just make up your mind and flowBridgeI feel the gravitypull at my chestI try to hold onand it holds me lessSo I loosen my gripon what I can’t seeAnd the moment opensaround meBreakdownJust pick a direction and goEven slowJust make up your mind and flowLet it growFinal ChorusJust pick a direction and goHow do I know?Just make up your mind and flowOutroOn the edge of peace once more IRealize againThere is no knowing where this will lead meSo I begin

Hibernation

4:20

Hibernation is one of the most vulnerable pieces in the archive because it doesn’t try to turn depression into something elegant, dramatic, or redeeming. It stays very close to the state itself: gray, pressurized, disconnected, stripped of direction and desire. The music mirrors that condition with stagnant guitar arpeggios, a slow drum pulse, a sustained bass, and a voice that often feels closer to witnessing than singing. Nothing really opens up, because the point is that nothing opens up - the song remains sealed inside its own weather. What I value about it now is exactly that refusal to embellish: it doesn’t explain the pit, it simply documents what it feels like to be there. That makes it difficult, but also honest, and maybe useful to the person who happens to find it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

Verse 1The color is grayAnd the sound is a noiseBuilding a pressureExpression is stuckWords without meaningReversing on themselvesThere is no directionThere is no desireThere is no place I want to beBut the urge that grows strongerDevours from within meVerse 2The head is lightWith fog insideInternal dynamicsWithout a nameDeep eyes feel tiredBut they're restlessPreparing for what's to comeBut there's no time frameThere's no preferenceThere's no frame of referenceYet the pressure it risesSquashes my heartOutroHibernation...(Hibernation)Hibernation..(Hibernation)hiber -nation

Strong and Innocent

4:26

I first wrote Strong and Innocent in the aftermath of 9/11, at a time when I was still young enough to be shocked that human beings could act with such destructive certainty while understanding so little of what they were doing. Back then, the song was more abstract and electronically mediated - harsh textures against softer piano, a vocoder voice that sounded almost childlike and not fully human. This newer version leaves much less to the imagination. The childlike distance is gone. What remains is anger, clarity, and refusal. The song speaks from a place of outrage at a world in which incoherence is mistaken for strength, manipulation passes for leadership, and entire systems of truth, empathy, and responsibility are being hollowed out in public. This is not a song that looks for solutions. It's a protest song, a war cry, a line drawn in the sand: they call out the "Post-Truth-Era" and I refuse to play along or have any part in it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroStrong and powerfulWas the ideaYoung and innocentWas the mindFull of energyHe followed his dreamsUnaware that there is moreThan it seemsVerse 1He learned a few big words and wore them like a crownUsed them like a ladder just to keep the others downChose the road for others, never walked it, never crossedCalled it “leading,” called it “vision,” while they carried all the costEvery room became a stage, every question felt like hateEvery warning made a weakness he could mock and dominateHe mistook his loud heartbeat for a public drumAnd the crowd mistook the echo for wisdom yet to comePre-ChorusHe doesn’t see the cliffWith the spotlight in his eyesHe calls the fall “momentum”Sells the bruises as the priceChorusIf ignorance is strengthArrogance means being focusedWhen dreams still feel so realCan it be so wrong?If doubt is just a flawAnd caution sounds like sicknessWho’s left to read the roomWhen the song gets sung too strong?Verse 2He trims the truth to slogans, makes a product of the crowdTurns their fear into permission, says it calmly, says it loudBuilds a fence and calls it shelter, draws a border, calls it careMakes obedience look prudent, makes suspicion sound like prayerEvery hand that rises trembling is a threat he has to nameEvery voice that asks for mercy is accused of playing gamesHe turns people into numbers, turns their losses into proofAnd calls the silence “order” when no one can tell the truthBridgeHere’s the trick:Confidence is cheap when you don’t pay the priceCertainty is easy when you never ask “am I right?”He wants the world in simple shapes -Good, bad, win, lose -But lives are not a chessboardAnd people aren’t his toolsSo he climbs on higher shoulders, calls it “destiny”While the ones who carry him can’t breatheAnd if the ground begins to trembleHe’ll blame it on the “weak”’Cause admitting “I don’t know”Is the one thing he can’t speakBreakdownThey don’t need truth -They need a story that stays neatThey don’t need peace -They need a stage, a drum, a beatPre-ChorusHe doesn’t hear the cracksUnder polished, borrowed steelHe only hears applauseAnd the way it makes him feelFinal ChorusIf ignorance is strengthArrogance means being focusedWhen dreams still feel so realCan it be so wrong?Why question all that powerWhen the image looks so pretty?Why listen to the warningWhen the crowd still sings along?So tell me who gets savedWhen the wrong feels so strong?OutroStrong and powerfulWas the ideaYoung and innocentWas the mind

Unfinished Light (In This Moment)

4:15

At first I didn’t want to share this song. It felt too “generic pop,” not personal enough - but it stuck in my head so much that I ended up falling in love with it.

Original music and lyrics by Gernot Ottowitz. Produced with the help of suno.ai

IntroAll I wanted was the love you gave meWhat I needed was the feeling of belongingAll I wanted was to be neededNo words right nowIn the momentIn this momentVerse 1But the room is full of little interruptionsA glance that turns away, a thought that doesn’t landWe try to get close and then we start explainingLike closeness needs a planYour phone lights up like a third person breathingMy mind starts counting what I did and didn’t doAnd suddenly I’m talking like I’m negotiatingInstead of falling into youPre-ChorusI don’t want the storyI don’t want the shieldI don’t want the “later”I want what we can feelChorusCome here - no fixing, no provingNo turning this into a fightJust skin and breath and truthIn the soft, unfinished light’Cause I’m tired of almost touchingOf love that stops to thinkI want the kind that holds meRight at the edge of speechVerse 2We carry our histories like coats we won’t take offEven when the air is warm enough to stayI reach for your hand and you reach for the distanceLike we learned it that wayAnd I know you mean well, I know you are tryingBut “trying” can still feel like being aloneWhen what I’m asking for is simple as a heartbeatAnd it comes out as a tonePre-ChorusI don’t need a promiseI don’t need a vowI don’t need you perfectI need you nowChorusCome here - no fixing, no provingNo turning this into a fightJust skin and breath and truthIn the soft, unfinished light’Cause I’m tired of almost touchingOf love that stops to thinkI want the kind that holds meRight at the edge of speechBridgeAnd maybe love is messyMaybe it’s not a movie sceneMaybe it’s two nervous bodiesLearning how to be seenBut I miss that one pure secondWhen the world went quiet for usWhen you looked at me like homeBefore the fear made a fussSo if you feel it too -Don’t leave me out hereDon’t leave me half-wayBetween want and disappearFinal ChorusCome here - no fixing, no provingNo turning this into a fightJust skin and breath and truthIn the soft, unfinished light’Cause I’m tired of almost touchingOf love that won’t sink inI want the kind that finds meAnd lets me all the way inOutroAll I wanted was the love you gave meWhat I needed was the feeling of belongingAll I wanted was to be neededNo words right nowIn the momentIn this moment