This song was written at a point where everything had quietly fallen apart, but nothing outwardly dramatic had happened. There was no clear crisis, just the gradual loss of direction, identity, and trust in my own decisions.
It came with a strange kind of guilt. Nothing was objectively wrong. I had stability, support, possibilities. And yet I couldn’t move. The more I thought about it, the less sense anything made. Every direction felt arbitrary, every choice disconnected from who I thought I was, or who I used to be.
The original version reflected that state, minimal, controlled, emotionally distant. Almost numb. This new version keeps the same core, but frames it differently, a warm, vintage orchestral arrangement paired with restrained vocals and a steady, almost indifferent beat.
That contrast became the point. The music smiles. The lyrics don’t. It feels like performing stability while quietly giving up inside, making everyone comfortable, even when you’re not.
There’s no dramatic breakdown, no resolution. Just the admission of being lost, and the uncertainty of what remains when you no longer recognize yourself.
It’s not a cry for help. It’s the sound of still functioning when meaning has slipped away.
Lyrics
Longing Repetition
[Verse 1]
On the inside I am empty
On the outside I'm hard
I never learned how to deal with love
I don't know how to come apart
[Verse 2]
It's not wise to pick direction
Without a point of reference
I wish someone would take the lead
But I'm scared of losing myself
Whatever that means
[Pre-Chorus]
Do you want it?
I don't know what to do with it
Do you want it?
I don't know what to do
[Chorus]
On this ride through life I feel abandoned
In this game called life I feel alone
On this ride through life I feel abandoned
In this game called life I am alone
Alone
[Interlude]
[Verse 3]
Decisions they don't make sense
When your confidence is fractured
Would someone please guide me through this maze?
Still I'm scared of losing my way
Becoming someone new
[Verse 4]
Lost in doubt and confusion
It's hard to see the light
Feeling my way back to solid ground
But I don't know how to make that leap
I'm not yet found
[Pre-Chorus]
Do you want it?
I don't know what to do with it
Do you want it?
I don't know what to do
[Chorus]
On this ride through life I feel abandoned
In this game called life I feel alone
On this ride through life I feel abandoned
And in this game called life I am alone